You Deserve to Live Your Life at a Higher Level

Dear Emily,

I am writing to you because I know that you think that your life was supposed to be different, that you didn’t want to end up feeling trapped, stuck, not knowing what to do to get out of this situation. And I understand that feeling. I know what it means coming home from a job that doesn’t excite you anymore, with coworkers that don’t really get you and they aren’t supportive.

And then at home, it feels like you are still working, going through the struggle of keeping things together. And then there is the guilt of not feeling a good mom because instead of being happy to spend time with your kids you can’t wait for them to fall asleep so you can finally have some time for yourself. 

You didn’t sign up for that, for all this effort. Life was meant to be easier. But right now it is not. And in your head you have this voice that keeps judging you; “you should be a better mom”, “you should enjoy your job, it is a high paying job, you have a great career” “what do you think you need to complain about?”, “you should know better”, “You should be happy”, “you shouldn’t ask for more”. 

And there is nobody you can confide in, so you feel even more frustrated. You feel like a failure. You feel like escaping reality. You go through your days in auto pilot. 

But let me tell you. I feel your pain, because I had felt it too. I couldn’t see a way out. And it felt like a burning pain that was consuming me, leaving me numbed. I reached a point where I just couldn’t feel anything anymore. It doesn’t have to be that way. You really deserve to live your life at a higher level, embracing all the beauty that you are and have and showing up everyday full force.

You are not alone, Emily. I just wanted to let you know. 

With love, 

Cristiana